Yesterday

Over the years I have allowed myself to gain a lot of weight when I got married I weighed around 125 pounds today I weigh almost 200 . I am unhappy with this yet I have now weighed this much for over two years. I told someone the other day I am not used to being overweight; I got a mirror put in my face (this person has known me for a little while now) I have been overweight. So, I have two options in front of me I can either work to lose the weight or I can become more happy about my body.

As all these concerns come to the front I find that I question myself even more. I wonder who I am and a lot of days I see myself as the fat, unattractive, stupid, and generally useless person. I am beginning to look at myself as a better person though it is hard. I feel like I have Satin whispering in my ear that no you really are all of those things and more. The thing about Yesterday is it is in the past. One has to move forward and cannot live in the past. The reality is I am over weight but I can do something about it.

I am going to start making goals 1. Goal is to lose 50+ pounds. I fell that I will be able to meet this goal and though it may seem superficial its important to me. I am not very good a putting myself first but I hise behind other people. I plan to start every day with prayer then a workout. Wish me luck.

Today

I have picked to start a blog almost against my better judgment it is not something I would have done a year ago. Negative judgment is something I am terrified of. Today I want to open myself in a way I usually don't and show more dimensions of myself. I will answer almost all questions people have and I’m extremely prone to over-sharing. Today I want to give people a window in rather than a black hole of information.

Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday is very significant to me Yesterday (good or bad) has helped to form me; what I do Today helps shape tomorrow. I have a lot of Dreams for the future, yet they are ever changing. Currently I am going through a very difficult time and am confused. The only constant seems to be that God keeps placing people in my life who want to help OR he gives me people that a sharpening my beliefs and helping me to stay on my walk with him.

I start this blog to give others an insight into myself that I am not often willing to share. My spelling and grammar can be difficult and in turn please do forgive me if some writings are difficult to read. This blog is first and foremost for me though I hope you enjoy the "window" it does open so please feel free to comment.

Sam